Spring is a hard time of year for me due to a few tough dates that come around once a year. One of those dates has arrived. It takes me back to a late afternoon. I had arrived home from work and the phone rang.
It was the “you have cancer” call.
March 14, 2012.
My diagnosis day.
I mark the day and call it my survivorversary.
It acknowledges and commemorates. I won’t forget it. By no means do I celebrate, but I will do a short happy dance as time marches onward. Days become weeks, weeks become months, and months become years. I am still here. I will not celebrate cancer. I will absolutely celebrate me.
They should not be minimized or discounted. Cancer research will someday find a cure for what has affected us personally and our families. I am in awe for the dedication and care I have received. Traditional western medicine is only one route to choose. I know many who have stuck to this road with little question if something additional should also be done. Maybe they didn’t need or desire anything different. Maybe they didn’t know they could ask for anything else. Cancer was a six-month detour that blurred more with every passing year. It became part of their past.
However, if you only drive down Main Street, you only experience one part of a town. Side roads and rural areas are well worth the ride. They offer something different. You don’t have to travel only one or the other. My opinion is both are necessary to live well and/or be cancer free. You are the patient and in control over decisions that affect you. My healing plan consists of many side roads and rural areas that have made a positive difference for me. I am the common factor and pull it all together.
It has been so much more than a six-month detour for me. Parts still have blurred. I have traveled on many roads to get where I am today.
It seems strange that I haven’t blogged much about chemotherapy or my oncology appointments. Chemotherapy has been a focal point for far too long. It sucks energy and manifests more physical symptoms than I care to list. It sustains life while it kills cells. Chemo is reassuring and comforting in its own way. It ranks high as a huge part of my healing plan. I have hit my 100th treatment. That’s pretty significant. It isn’t a celebration, but I am checking off the box and moving on. I am still here.
There are so many other aspects in addition to active treatment that I think are also important to an integrated approach to a cancer healing plan.
A strong doctor-patient relationship is vital for my living as healthy as possible.
The relationship I have with my oncologist is a really good one. He deserves credit for sticking with me, listening to me, and working for what I want. He knows how I feel. Yes, I’d love to be someone who visits her oncologist once a year, and eventually less than that, but it’s not the kind of survivor I am. I’m getting active treatment. I go to my doctor a lot. Sometimes it means I may be a pain in the butt. I do get all my questions answered. I even come up with some good ideas from time to time. The good news is my oncologist doesn’t have a chance to forget about me. If I don’t speak up for me, who will? I am my own best advocate.
Oncologists differ from one another. They’re human just like the rest of us. I met with a couple oncologists at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, shortly after my initial diagnosis. Overall, they agreed with the treatment plan suggested at Carbone Cancer Center in Madison. Mayo was more open to surgery options. I liked them quite a bit but it was just too far a trek for regular care. I had top-notch care a few mere miles from home.
A couple of years ago I sought out another second opinion within my provider network and it wasn’t very helpful. It wasn’t hurtful either, just not worthwhile. This oncologist let me know what his opinion was on my options. I let him know what I thought of his limited research. He was not open to complementary cancer supports. I was not a good fit with this oncologist. In my opinion, he defines healing with a very limited scope. Every once in a while I see a clip of him on the local news. He has a great reputation, but I am so glad I have the oncologist I do, who also has an excellent reputation. My position is that healing includes many different aspects that work together.
I’m going to repeat that: Healing includes many different aspects that work together.
No one heals in a sterile petri dish or test tube.
My health journal helps keep all my medical information together.
A health journal has been incredibly useful for my oncology visits. It really helps with dates and specifics as to how I’m feeling, my questions, how and when medications were tweaked. I am a planner. I make the most of the short time I have with my doctor. Sometimes it isn’t so short, but again, that’s the kind of survivor I am, and I’m going to take the time I need. My health depends on it. I believe one reason I’m still doing well is because I’m able to keep really detailed notes to report to my doctor and have one place to keep all my information.
I’m also more of an anxious person than I used to be. Cancer and anxiety go together. Keeping a health journal eases some of my anxiety because it gives me power. An added benefit is the built-in memory that naturally exists with documentation.
Ask questions. A short office visit doesn’t suffice for what I need to feel as a satisfactory visit, even with my health journal in tow. It wouldn’t hurt if office visits were about ten minutes longer than they are now. The oncology nurses are good resources in getting word to your doctor, as is electronically messaging your doctor through MyChart or any similar online technology. I am important enough, and so are you, to have your questions and concerns answered and acknowledged in a way that you understand. It is okay to disagree. I do believe everyone is there to advocate for your best care, but that doesn’t mean you blindly agree to something you don’t understand or have reservations about. There may be something even better for you.
I do believe the answer, a cure, lies in research and things like immunotherapies, targeted treatments, genomics, personalized medicine, and medical advances that haven’t happened yet.
This is why research for advanced stage cancers is so important. More research dollars need to be allocated to advanced stage research! Click herefor some suggestions. There needs to be a lot more access to better treatments and drugs that are more effective for those of us living with secondary cancer. We deserve access to advances in immunotherapies, targeted treatments, personalized medicines, and new therapies. It isn’t an option to run out of options. Keep telling your oncologist this over and over again. They meet with the other oncologists in their network to discuss cases. If they keep hearing these demands from patients, it’s more likely medicine will go in this direction.
Keep speaking up.
Patients can help steer these discussions by continuing to advocate for what they need in their office visit.
Healing and a cure are not interchangeable. A cured person may not be healed. Trauma, fear, and other physical or emotional issues can still interfere with living fully. Healing and a cure will inevitably overlap as healers, doctors, and patients work together. Stranger things have happened. Healing and a cure absolutely can overlap. I keep striving for both.