Glennon Doyle thinks about life differently from the mainstream population. I think I understand one or two basic ideas about life. Then I read her book Untamed, and she turned them upside down.
Recent books I’ve read have been a topic of posts lately. This book reminded me that being untamed, even a little untamed, is the way we are supposed to be all along. The chapters are often short segments of storytelling where she makes her point through metaphor. Her style speaks to me as I often use narrative and metaphors to craft my writing. She gently encourages and inspires as she writes, sharing her story and thoughts with readers. There is a lot that resonated with me in Untamed.
One of those ideas is how we become adults and take our chosen place in society. It’s a chosen place we’ve dreamed of, worked hard for, and understand what our role is to be. Glennon draws a parallel between this life and a cheetah at a zoo who has been trained and tamed to mimic a dog rather than act like the cheetah it is.
She defines being tamed as meaning you have made yourself fit. We have been conditioned by the people and life around us. We have learned how we are supposed to act and feel rather than be act like our cheetah selves.
I took my place as a teacher and understood that I was seen as a teacher outside of the classroom as well as in it. Not being wild and crazy, I fit the persona well. Nurturing, well-liked, respected, and all the other positive qualities you would want to assign to a teacher. Underneath all that, there was also an expectation that you would not openly challenge authority too much. It contradicted teaching children to question and think critically. I didn’t challenge anything too much until I was diagnosed with metastatic cancer. It became clearer over time that I didn’t need to (and couldn’t) make myself fit. I do believe age and growing older also causes changes in our confidence and how we see life. I was able to behave more like a cheetah.
Women behave more like cheetahs as we age. Society wants to call us cougars. That label portrays women only one way. No, not sorry – we’re cheetahs. Get out of the way.
Women especially have been tamed to fulfill certain norms that are outdated and antiquated. We take care of others first. We may not reach high enough. We accept put downs from one another. About a month ago I listened quietly as women commented on young women who would never marry or have children because of metastatic cancer. Well, I’m no spring chicken, but there I was with no hubby and no children. The comment wasn’t meant to be hurtful or even apply to me, but that tamed part of me silently took it in rather than roaring. I’m tamed.
She goes even farther with a personal story to emphasize how unhealthy it is deny yourself permission to live how you want. Glennon described the time when she had neurological Lyme disease and was sick for two years. She couldn’t function and spent the majority of those two years in bed or swallowing pills. She felt better when she visited a friend living in Florida and it was then she understood she needed to stay there. Not only did she need to stay there, she wanted to stay there because she always had loved the beach.
We shouldn’t need a brush with death to learn how to live.
We always should honor our true selves.
In many ways, living with metastatic breast cancer has given me that permission to live more truthfully. I won’t say it’s allowed me to live as I want because I don’t want to live with all the suffering and uncertainty that accompanies cancer. I wake when I’m rested most mornings rather than rolling out in the dark to an alarm that sounds way too early. I don’t put in extra hours at a job I love just to feel like I’m barely keeping up. I don’t put myself last. Instead, I have time for me. I can take chances to do things that before cancer I would never have dared. When it comes down to it – no one cares and no one stops me.
We all need to live how we want.
Glennon Doyle wants us to shake things up a bit. Maybe a lot. She writes a lot about learning to be brave and become true to yourself. Our purpose is to live authentically and fully.
Here are a few ways I’ve seen myself becoming untamed:
• I’m an active and vocal participant in my medical care.
• I say NO more often.
• I have control over my own show and I like it. I can get a lot done when I can envision a goal and fully pursue it.
• I ask a lot more questions.
• I express my opinions more often.
I haven’t been to a zoo in a few years. The closest zoo to me doesn’t have a cheetah exhibit. Of course, all the animals are confined. They are there so humans can see wild animals. None of them behave as they should. They are tamed in the Glennon Doyle sense of the word.
Cheetahs are symbols of patience and intensity. As a spirit animal, they remind us to prioritize and set goals. I want to let my inner cheetah run wild. I want to move stealthily and quietly to get what I want.
Ah, to be a cheetah is to live more untamed. I will be more unleashed, uncaged, and even more wonderful than I already am.