Two Years Blogging

My second year blogging is in the books. I’ve explored expressing myself a bit more through personal narratives and even poetry. I’ve covered a variety of topics. I hope I have made connections with readers as I’ve shared what goes through my mind and in my life as someone living with metastatic breast cancer.

There’s no need to have cancer in your life to read it and get something out of it. Not everything I write about is specific to the cancer experience. Themes of fear, trust, and identity apply to all of us. Memories of joy or moments that teach an important life lesson reside within all of us. However, it’s often when I appear to veer off the cancer path with my writing that I come back to say something about the cancer experience. Maybe I’m only speaking to me. Joy is important for anyone with metastatic cancer. Memories can be bittersweet, hopefully mostly sweet. Life lessons help us embrace the now. Some of these lessons are difficult to embrace. Maybe they help us understand our now one lesson at a time.

I am always interested in growing my audience. Please share my blog with anyone with whom you think may benefit from it. I also want to take a moment today to thank you for reading and sharing your comments. I love reading them and you are always welcome to leave a comment at the bottom of these posts. Today, I’m interested in if you’ve had a favorite post over the last year. I have many favorites, but know I am biased.

Recently, I received a few compliments on my blog’s title, Finding A Way. It conjures up many thoughts in my mind. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. If there’s a will, there’s a way. Look at a challenge from multiple perspectives. Approach something in a new way. Venture outside of your comfort zone. Find a way to get it done.

Find a way.

There have been some remarkable things I have attempted while living with metastatic breast cancer. I figured out how to keep teaching for four years after my diagnosis. I’ve discovered new ways to enjoy exercise. I’ve developed hacks for when things are hard. I’ve found a way. Maybe it isn’t always the best way or the easiest way, but it is a way.

The phrase “finding a way” is defined as having an opportunity, or an intention, to arrive at a specific outcome. That definition fits the vision I continue to have as a mantra in my life. My blog’s title got me thinking about other expressions that are essentially synonyms for it. It turns out there are dozens of substitutions. Some fit better than others. Some were noted as more common in the UK. Some are positive. Quite a few have negative connotations and that surprised me. Apparently, finding a way can be by hook or crook. Wordhippo.com is my source. See what you think.

Synonyms are listed in no particular order but tend to follow the order from Wordhippo. I understand if you skim them since there are many.

Getting, contriving, arranging, engineering a way, managing, succeeding in, organizing, working it, fixing it, compassing, coordinating, designing, maneuvering, swinging, swinging it, setting, orchestrating, making arrangements for, fixing, fixing up, setting up, pulling strings, pulling wires, sorting out, seeing to, finagling, framing, negotiating, machinating, manipulating, finessing, masterminding, elaborating, developing, executing, shifting, angling, cogitating, achieving, projecting, jockeying, hitting upon, carrying out, playing games, effecting, wrangling, passing, plotting, scheming, devising, conspiring, intriguing, conniving, colluding, planning, hatching, cooking up, operating, being in cahoots, collaborating, hatching a plot, concocting, faking, fabricating, rigging, forming a conspiracy, laying plans, shamming, abetting, exploiting, manufacturing, promoting, getting in bed with, coming up with, controlling, falsifying, simulating, feigning, conducting, handling, bringing about, pulling off, conceiving, constructing, staging, scamming, doctoring, tricking, wheeling and dealing, and conning.

The list goes on, but I think I’ve listed plenty.

One word that didn’t appear that struck me as strange:

Believe.

Finding A Way is about believing. Pure and simple. Unwavering. Unconditionally.

Shall I change the name of my blog to embody ideas of conniving, plotting, or scheming? Nah, it’s better to stick with ideals like succeeding, achieving, and developing. I will keep the title as is. It works. Onward to a third year of finding a way. You know what’s coming . . .

Always.

Fundraiser Reflections

My Nifty 50 fundraising efforts have come to an end. I realize I have blogged often about this over the past ten months. This is it . . . very definitely maybe. Yet, it’s been a very successful part of my life. Success is important in the life of someone living with metastatic breast cancer. Success needs to be celebrated. I know I’m tooting my own horn a bit with this post. It is strange territory as I consider myself quite modest. I often look back on completed tasks to reflect on what I’ve learned and reasons why I think something worked. The “reasons why I think something worked part” may be of particular interest to anyone reading who has an interest in fundraising.

My goal was $50,000. The current total is $60,050.

Not too shabby for a fundraising rookie.

Here are a few of my reflections on the process and reasons why I think it worked.

Connections

I was fortunate to connect with the right people who could help support my vision. I worked regularly with two contacts at the UW Foundation who supported my goal. I know these connections wanted me to succeed. My success raised needed funds. Using a MyCarbone personalized fundraising page gave me a platform where I could reach many.

I also spoke often with Rob and Mary Gooze who founded the More for Stage IV Fund through UW Carbone. I learned a lot from their experiences. Their support was phenomenal. They have been in the fundraising world for over six years. Everything they do is polished and professional. Both always pointed me in the right direction whenever I needed to run something by them.

Connecting with the right people and using a platform that many have access to are huge supports when trying to raise money and reach people. News stories on TV helped a lot with outreach, too. Successful fundraising must reach past family and friends. Bigger and bigger circles mean more and more people are hearing about the need for more funding and research for metastatic breast cancer.

Bigger Than Myself

What I accomplished was bigger than myself. And I did it from scratch. There are those in the world who operate from a lens of only how events affect them as individuals. I wasn’t asking to fund a vacation or go on a shopping spree. It wasn’t about me. I worked for the greater good. One reason why I think so many embraced my goal was that it affected so many people. Research affects all of us. 42,690 women and men will die from MBC this year – that’s almost 117 a day. I am fully aware it takes years for an effective drug to go from research trial to FDA approval. My hope is research funded in part from Nifty 50 will benefit many men and women down the road. I’m hoping to benefit from all scientific developments available to me that the near future has to offer. Treatments that are available thanks to someone else’s fundraising for more research.

Coming Together

This project gave people an opportunity to join something where they could be part of something that grew. It feels good right now to be part of something where you can support it and feel like you made a difference. I know I made an impact. Events that were held brought people in the community together. I hope I changed perceptions on breast cancer research and people understand that MBC gets a pretty small sliver of funds designated for breast cancer. I know I got people talking in my neighborhood. I heard from old childhood friends, classmates and friends from my graduating class in high school, lots of friends and colleagues from more recent teaching days. I heard from former neighbors who had moved out of state. I also heard from many people I don’t know and probably never will meet. I read story upon story in comments from those grieving and honoring loved ones who felt compelled to share a part of their story. Nurses from both the cancer clinic and cancer center chipped in and offered me encouragement and their thanks. I am in awe of all of these humans who are amazing on their own and part of a wondrous whole.

Support

The support I felt personally from those messages written on my page lifted me more than I can say. I cried a lot reading those. Some encouragement was loud, some support was quiet, and some was anonymous, but all of it kept me going forward. The outpouring of support made me feel like my actions mattered. I felt people heard me. It made me feel a bit like George Bailey at the end of It’s A Wonderful Life when the whole town showers him with support. I’m no George Bailey, but I felt how I imagine he did at the end of the movie.

Planned Like a Teacher

I approached my fundraiser like a teacher. Teachers make something out of nothing all the time. We call it a school year. And we do it repeatedly. I mapped out ideas and strived for an event or focal point each month. Plans often were revised much in the same way as lesson plans got modified. Nifty 50 gave me a very strong sense of power and purpose, much like teaching did. Nifty 50 made me tired and at times a little stressed, much like teaching did. Kindness was a cornerstone of my classroom. Gratitude still matters in everything. I’ve sent thank you letters to all donors (except for the anonymous ones) featuring photos and highlights of events throughout the year. I wrote personalized notes at the bottom of each. There was a beginning and end date to Nifty 50 just like a school year. Summer provided rejuvenation in between school years. I was always excited to go back in fall and do it all over again from beginning to end. Herein is a problem and some unsettled feelings for me. There is no next fundraiser. I am just done and don’t quite know what to do with myself. Where is my purpose now? I don’t know. I need a bit of a rest and need to focus on me for a bit.

Monumental Achievement

I did it. Me. I don’t typically bite off this much.

And I did it while living with metastatic breast cancer.

AND I completed my efforts during COVID-19.

Sometimes I am the person I’m trying to convince that I can still accomplish quite a bit. Having purpose and goals gives me focus and a place to direct my energy. I hope people remember well after my fundraiser has faded away that ideas that might seem out of reach are possible. It was called ambitious at the beginning by some. Lofty was another word I heard it described as recently. Hmmm . . . I still have to talk to one of my friends about calling it lofty. Ambitious and lofty aren’t necessarily negative terms, but in my mind those words have always been connected more to unobtainable goals rather than determination. I’ve always aimed high. I wanted this to happen. I had quite a bit of control in getting it to happen. I planned events. There was publicity. I stayed persistent and kept hammering away at what I wanted from different angles. A lot of my time and efforts were devoted to this work. I surrounded myself with effective people who knew more about fundraising than I did. I asked a lot of questions to find out what I didn’t know and what I needed to do to get something to happen. I heard NO perhaps more often than I heard YES. Every YES was vital. I even turned a NO here and there into a YES with some reframing.

I have done many things in life. This undoubtedly was something I didn’t expect I would do. I’m proud of what I accomplished. I hope people see that one person can create a spark that creates a fire. We are better when we work together.

I end by referencing the movie Field of Dreams. Ray (played by Kevin Costner) heard a whisper in his cornfield. He heard the now famous phrase, “If you build it, he will come.” Ray believed. He built it. Then Shoeless Joe Jackson came along with many others. My word for 2020 is BELIEVE. I believed I could achieve my goal. I built it. People came. I think it’s the belief in something that is sometimes the biggest reason why something works.

Keep believing.